A sixteen year old girl sits besides the window of her room, staring at the raindrops falling upon the sill; her long flowing brown hair covering her blue shiny eyes clouded by thick drops of endless tears. Her pretty pink lips, totally in contrast with the pale face that has lost its usual rosiness, are crying out the word “Please..” into her mobile phone. The voice at the other end felt to be rather cruel, or so she felt at that instant, almost unaffected by the glaring pain that this girl’s heart was so full of. The boy hung up. With trembling hands, she put down the phone, still not being able to take what the caller had just said. His words had been too much for her to bear, for she loved the boy selflessly. And to part with him was to lose a part of her own self.
She was all alone. Not that she didn’t have any friends- her contact list was three hundred and fifty nine contacts strong- just that she couldn’t muster the courage to speak, so in shock she was.
Her heart was pounding, her hands were sweaty, and her face wet. She looked around the room, and she saw his bright picture on the open laptop in the otherwise dark ambience, smiling at her. It was taken at a time when all had been well. At a time when she felt she was complete. When she was loved. When the guy’s heart had none other’s but her name emblazoned on it. When the world seemed a better place to live. When the fragrance of the flowers outside her window filled her mind with blissful joy. When the rain was just another occasion to rejoice. Not anymore.
All had been lost. All at once. Her heart pleaded. And screamed. She collected all her courage and questioned him, asked him why she had been subjected to this unfairness. All she got back was silence. A silence that cut through her very ribs. The pain that made her numb for a split second; that second when everything inside her became calm and quiet. A moment of utter clarity. A second of self judgment. She had been wronged. She did not deserve that. She had been a faithful lover. An obedient daughter. A loving friend. A caring sibling. A hard working student. She had been too good all through to deserve it. She wanted an answer. She needed an answer. All she received was silence. And a barely audible note of apology.
Love is time, love is understanding, love is connection. She was told. Now he had this comfort with some other friend, this deepness he shared with some other girl. Love is about evolving. And letting go. Love is making the other person smile. She understood love. She appreciated love. She decided to let go. It was the pain that she couldn’t part with. It was the hollowness, the emptiness that had crawled inside her that refused to go even after years. She believed that you can love once, and she had had her share. She treasured and cherished the loving moments they had shared, the sweet words they had spoken, the occasional glances at school that they had exchanged. She held them close to her heart.
People survive. So will she. You never can let go off the pain. Only one day you learn to carry that pain along effortlessly.
